illusions

sorry i havent posted in forever.
winter break was interesting.
cedric was here.
and like i said it was... interesting
i dont know if i will stay at parker
we will see i guess
i miss my friends terribly but im beginning to realize, im not going home, nomatter how badly i want to

maybe this is all an illusion to myself
maybe i really am happy
maybe i dont want to be happy though
you know what.. i have no clue

all i know is "i live in hawaii. this is now. here is now"
the memories i have is what i live for

the future scares the shit out of me
i still cant beleive in in high school

its like time just all fo the sudden went in fast motion and now im here
im sitting here writing this
and the time is now


this is random but i cant wait to have kids
im gunna love them with all my heart and be the best mother i could be

i have amazing parents
but when i have kids i will never force them to move a million miles away
i will want to make sure this is okay with them
because, well, it hurts
but like i said... this could all be an illusion



oh did i mention i moved
yeah, to a different house much closer to my school
its great!


anyway, when i love these names for my kids when i have them.. i think they are so great


Girl:
Destinée
Ariel
Scarlett
Cleora
Bailey

Boy:
Christoff
Tristan
Aiden

Unisex:
Sage
Demi
Hayden



well.. im off, i have to write an essay on Animal Farm by George Orwell

Happy belated Hanukah
Merry belated Christmas
Happy belated New Years



-marenafayeee